NAMING CEREMONY
Akpors insisted that his
first child
must bear his name.
So on the day of
naming...
Rev: Which name would
u like ur
child to bear?
Akpors (with smile all
over his face)
replied; Akpors.
Rev: NO! He has to bear
an English
name.
Akpors: Oh ok...
Akporsking.
Rev (Obviously tired of
the prank):
LISTEN! Ur son should
be named after
a saint in the Bible.
Akpors: Na wa o...
(He thought for a while
and
obviously with an
inspiration and
great smile)
"Ok pastor; St.
Akporstus"
English class:
Teacher: What is a
Verb?
Akpos: A Verb is a valve
found in bicycle tyre.
Teacher: What are you
saying?
Akpos: It is a complete
sentence sir.
Teacher: Are you mad?
Akpos: It is a question
sir.
Teacher: Don't be
silly.
Akpos: It is an advice
sir.
Teacher: Stop that
nonsense.
Akpos: It is a command
sir.
Teacher: You're an .
Akpos: It is an insult sir.
Teacher: Get out of my
class.
Akpos: It is an order sir.
Teacher: Oh! Goodness,
What a boy!
Akpos: It is an
exclamation sir.
Teacher: May God have
mercy on you.
Akpos: It is a prayer sir.
Teacher: You need to
see a doctor.
Akpos: It is a
suggestion sir.
Teacher: I rest my case.
Akpos: It is ur choice sir.
Akpos joining the Army:
Officer: We need you in
the army.
Akpos: I’ll join but on
three conditions.
Officer: Ok. what are
the conditions?
Akpos: My first
condition is that I’ll not
wear the uniform
because it is hot.
Officer: Ok. What is the
second
condition?
Akpos: I’ll not do the
perade and other
training under the sun
because it is hot.
I’ll only do it under the
shed or some kind
of
shadow cover.
Officer: Ok. What is your
third condition?
Akpos: And my last and
most important
condition is that during
war times, I’ll remain
on leave.
WHO IS THE MUMU?
Akpors was sent to
deliver a live
chicken for xmas
celebration in
lagos, on his way a
careless
okada made him to fall
off
the bike. The chicken
immediately ran off.
When Akpors saw the
chicken
running away, he
started
laughing. And when
asked why
… he is laughing, he said:
“see this mumu chicken,
where
does she know in lagos
when the address is
with
me.
A pastor announced, "If
you
know your wife is
controlling
you, move to the left".
All the men
in the church moved to
left
except Akpos.
The pastor was
amused and
asked, "How come your
wife
can't control you?"
Akpos quietly replied,
"Pastor, it's
my wife who told me
not to
move"
A Teacher trying to
teach good
manners
asked her students this
Question:
Michael if you were on a
date having
dinner with a nice young
lady,
how would you tell her
that you have
to go
to the bathroom??
Michael:"Just a
minute, I have to go
pee.." Teacher: That
would be rude &
impolite..
How about you Sam??
Sam said:"I
really need to go to the
Toilet,
i'm sorry.." Teacher:
That's better but
still not nice to
say the word Toilet..
Oh you Akpos ?? Can
you use your
brain?? Akpos
said:"Darling, May i
please be
excused for a
moment?? I've got to
shake
hands with a very dear
friend of mine,
whom i hope to
introduce to you after
dinner." "TEACHER
FAINTED!!!"~o)~ o)
Akpos has been
admiring his
neighbor's
wife. The neighbor's
wife always gives
him this seductive
smile
whenever they
greet each other.
Akpos didn't know
how to approach the
lady to tell her of his
desires because she's
married. So, one
day the lady herself
approached
Akpors alone in his
apartment.
AKPOS: Hi.
LADY: Hi.
AKPOS: Is everything
alright?
LADY: Yes. Just need
little help from you
(Smiling seductively).
AKPOS: Wow!
Anything
for the angel.
LADY: I... I... I just
don't
know how to
say this. I'll be so
ashamed of myself if I
ask
and you say no.
AKPOS: Oh my lady.
you
don't have to.
I am ready to do
anything for you.
LADY: You know, it's
been over 3 weeks
since my husband
travelled...
AKPOS: Yes! Yes! Yes!
LADY: And even when
he's around, he
has
some... (pause for a
while) he has some
disabilities...-­
AKPOS: Oh poor you...
You must have
been going through
hell!
LADY: I know you'll be
stronger than
him...
AKPOS: Sure.
LADY: Can you help
me?
AKPOS: Wow! Now?
Sure, I'm ready if
you are ready.
LADY: Oh thanks
goodness! that's why
I
came to you. Can you
help me carry our
deep freezer from our
kitchen to the
next street for
repairs?
Akpos nearly Cried!!!