jokes

A newlywed couple
moves into their new
house. One day the
husband comes home
from work and his wife
says, "Honey, you know,
in the upstairs bathroom
one of the pipes is
leaking, could you fix it?"
The husband says,
"What do I look like, Mr.
Plumber?" A few days go
by, and he comes home
from work and his wife
says, "Honey, the car
won't start. I think it
needs a new battery.
Could you change it for
me?" He says: "What do I
look like, Mr.
Goodwrench?" Another
few days go by, and it's
raining pretty hard. The
wife finds a leak in the
roof. She says, "Honey,
there's a leak on the roof!
Can you please fix it?" He
says, "What do I look
like, Bob Vila?" The next
day the husband comes
home, and the roof is
fixed. So is the plumbing.
So is the car. He asks his
wife what happened.
"Oh, I had a handyman
come in and fix them,"
she says. "Great! How
much is that going to
cost me?" he snarls. Wife
says: "Nothing. He said
he'd do it for free if I
either baked him a cake
or slept with him." "Uh,
well, what kind of cake
did you make?" asks the
husband. "What do I look
like," she says, "Betty
Crocker?"